Dog or God?

Of the nearly 50 posts I’ve written for this blog, this one is among the hardest. When I started writing, I had a goal to be “paws-itive” and inspirational. While that has not changed, this post feels heavy on my heart, yet it’s begging to get out. And so it goes . . .

A couple of days ago, I was anticipation-filled and over-the-moon-excited about the impending birth of our next litter of puppies. How many would there be? What would they look like? Would we sell all of them, or keep one to add to our family? What improvements and additions would we make to the kennels? And on and on. We were teamed with another breeder for this opportunity, and the deal seemed perfect for both sides. Our dog had been living on our partner’s yard to make the breeding easy, and we were to be free of the challenges of reduced sleep related to caring for the litter. The timing of the financial boost seemed perfectly aligned, as it would drop for the new year. With my project management position having been COVID-19 eliminated, and after months of “blood out of a turnip” spending, it would be nice to return some funds to the coffers. To say we had a lot riding on this pairing would be on par with how we felt.

One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . five puppies! Yes! As much as I tried, I could not stop the faint cash register sound from chiming in my head. And then, just as quickly, we received the news that sent a quake through our heads, hearts and wallets – the puppies were gone. In my “Anticipation” post, I referred to 101 Dalmatians, but I only focused on the excitement of the births, not the heartbreak that soon followed. Our story has no Jasper, Horace or Cruella De Vil, but we are without the puppies nonetheless.

Once the shock of the news settled in, I was confronted by a bigger antagonist, an adversary I am only able to fight on my knees. Satan showed up to rub salt in the wound and attempt to get me focused on the financial loss – or should I say, the potential financial loss. He was trying to use my grief of what “might have been” as a catalyst to move me to sadness, just as I was focusing on the blessings that were also part of the story. In my prayers and praise, the Holy Spirit showed up and asked the critical questions that moved me from the my “on the fence” mentality. “Who is on your throne, Diana? Were you trusting in the peaceful puppies, or in The Prince of Peace? The litter, or The Life Giver? The d-o-g, THE G-O-D?” . . . . Wow! Was I feeling “Amen” or “ouch”?!

The sting was real! And so I prayed, and asked God to forgive me for any thoughts I had that the puppies would bring provisions that He had not already planned and covered. He reminded me of the passage in Matthew 6:24-34 where Jesus told His followers not to worry about material things because God provides for the needs of His people, and admonished them about pursuing wealth and material things before God. The truth was revealed by THE TRUTH. The payoff of the puppies was a potential, not a promise. Calculating your coins before the commitment of customers is never wise.

As I reflect on who I am and Whose I am, my heart returns to the place of praise – where He has taught me to make sweet, refreshing lemonade from life’s lemons, and my joy is restored.